A WOMAN'S LIFE
That day, as so often, I had decided to go sailing.
Spring had never been so beautiful.
I always ran fastest.
Rosalie found it hard to keep up.
Miss!
Miss Jeanne!
Miss!
Help! Help!
The wind suddenly got up.
I don't know what I'd have done without this fishing boat.
He was on the quay.
I did not know him.
She'll end up drowning if she doesn't watch out.
Who is she?
Mr Perthuis' daughter.
- Your father knew them well. - He did?
Yes, sir, very well. But then he lived here all his life.
He offered me a ride in his carriage.
No, come in. I want my parents to thank you.
Rosalie?
But...
There's no one here.
- They must be out looking for me. - I've never been here before.
And yet we must have met a while ago.
- Do you live round here? - I left Paris three months ago.
For good?
I should.
I've wasted enough time as it is.
Now I want to try to live more frugally.
I must go and find them.
- They must be worried sick. - Here they are now.
She's here. Oh, Miss!
He visited more and more frequently.
He left later and later.
Sometimes I found his silences disconcerting.
There.
Will you come back and see us?
I don't know. Perhaps, unless I return to Paris.
Are you leaving again?
Don't you think it's for the best?
That's not what you said the other day.
Perhaps you have made me change my mind.
Me?
Thus came the day when Julien asked to talk to my father alone.
I was almost afraid of this impending happiness.
And yet I couldn't wait to go downstairs
to see the face again that was to become my whole life.
I hurried out of church, swept along by my happiness.
I didn't even notice him holding back.
What passed through his mind as my whole family passed by?
He, who was alone and whose only friend was Fourcheville.
I was too self-absorbed to give it much thought.
The reception lasted late into the night.
It was a fairy-tale wedding,
but what becomes of the heroes once the story is over?
I didn't think about it.
Rosalie?
I'm going up.
He's done all right for himself.
It was high time.
Last time I saw him, I had to pay for his carriage.
Now is the time to recover the debt.
- You won't be the only one. - It's to be expected.
Thank goodness for marriage to pay off one's debts.
What did you just say?
Did you hear that? What was it?
It was nothing. A guest who has drunk too much.
Oh, Rosalie, I'm so happy.
And when you're happy, you want everyone to be happy.
- Yes, madam. - It shouldn't be so hard.
No, madam.
Listen, Rosalie...
You must never leave us. You must stay with us like before.
- But you're injured. - Leave it. It's nothing.
I'm always a bit afraid when I leave you alone.
I'll never be alone again from now on.
Let's go, shall we?
- Now? - Yes.
- Right away. - But why, Julien?
I'm suffocating in this house. This party is never-ending.
Come now.
I'm asking you.
But... But I can't.
- Nothing's ready. - On the contrary.
It will make the farewells shorter.
Julien stopped the carriage out in the countryside.
I had fallen asleep.
Or rather, I was pretending to be asleep.
Julien.
Two months had passed.
My parents departed, leaving us their house.
I bid them farewell, feeling only a slight pang of melancholy.
I closed the gates again onto my happiness,
certain of holding it prisoner there.
Have they left us?
Poor things. It broke their hearts to part with their house.
You can't understand.
When I was little, I got lost in it. It almost frightened me.
Now I couldn't live anywhere else.
It was made to house a flock of children.
Then we'll give it to the orphanage.
- You're always making fun of me. - No, I'm not. I love orphans.
I'm off to shoot some crows.
- Will you take me with you? - You can't hold a gun.
- You can teach me. - It can't be taught.
And blood frightens you.
Julien!
Are you tired?
Yes.
I'm going back.
Do you want me to go with you?
You're too kind. No, thank you.
Right.
Julien?
After a few months he wanted his own room.
He gave me no explanation.
I would never dare tell him how distraught I felt.
Leave it.
Who taught you to poach like that?
And you?
No one.
You see? It can't be taught.
You're right. Some things simply can't be taught.
Here, drink.
Go on, drink.
Oh, Rosalie. I adore you.
And you don't ask questions.
You're right. Never ask questions.
I hate that.
When I heard his footsteps, I couldn't help quivering.
He was often silent.
But it was enough to see him,
to sense him in the house,
to forget the long day of waiting.
How long have you been with us, Rosalie?
In this house, madam? It must be nearly 13 years.
13 years.
How time flies.
And how fast we age.
- You will age too, you'll see. - Me?
What are you two plotting?
Rosalie, go and light the fire in my bedroom.
But...
- Sir usually lights it himself. - Usually but not tonight.
Did you hear what he said?
Leave the past behind. What is the point of memories?
No, I can't do this anymore.
What are you waiting for? Call her.
One morning I heard a sound coming from the stables.
I should have known by now
to resist the temptation to throw myself at Julien.
What are you doing here?
Nothing, just watching you.
- What about you? - I'm working.
- On what? - On what I like doing.
I have every right to, don't I?
You're not going to sell it, are you?
I'm fond of it, Julien.
It's ours.
Is the money I owe ours?
And my debts? Are they ours?
- You have debts? - Yes, believe it or not.
- You should have said. - Said what?
But, my love, my poor love,
you are mad, completely insane.
- We have all the money we need. - We, always we.
What does "we" mean?
That carriage is mine.
It's just about the only thing I have left.
- I don't want you to... - Don't make a scene.
Julien, wait for me.
Julien, we can't leave it like this. Please!
What have I done to you? Tell me that at least.
Nothing. You've done nothing.
As irreproachable as ever.
Your parents can die happy. Their daughter is married off.
Everyone's a winner. Only, it seems I got a raw deal.
- What are you talking about? - I was tricked.
And all because of a few miserable debts.
Don't you think it's a bit much?
Good morning, madam. Good morning, sir.
I'm going up.
Me too.
Are you waiting for something?
Have I not said good night to you?
Yes.
Listen.
I was rather brutal this morning.
I didn't mean to hurt you, you know.
I got carried away.
When I'm angry I say things I don't mean.
I apologise.
Sincerely.
You really scared me.
It's partly your fault. You always overreact.
- You were so hostile. - I had to make you understand.
It's not just a question of money.
Money...
Yet it would have been so easy to talk to me about it.
And so convenient.
What can't be fixed with a bit of money?
Please don't turn nasty again.
Me nasty? Poor little Jeanne.
I just need to be alone sometimes,
to be free.
I need space.
How can I explain? You look pained as soon as I open my mouth.
There, there. Calm down.
Stop being so childish.
You're acting like a spoilt child.
Listen.
We can be happy together.
Believe me, very happy. But you need to make an effort.
Living together isn't always easy.
You're not 16 anymore, you know.
- It's time you saw sense. - I don't want to see sense.
I love you.
I know you love me. So what?
What difference does it make?
It's no reason to ruin my life.
- You don't mean that. - I've never been so sincere.
I'm ruining your life?
Your refusal to understand annoys me.
The days resumed their slow, quiet course
but I couldn't forget what Julien had said.
Rosalie?
No!
My poor child.
Poor Rosalie.
You are in pain.
No, don't touch me.
I don't want you to.
It hurts!
Rosalie?
Julien, Rosalie is...
Run and fetch Ludivine. She'll know what to do.
Did you hear me?
- Leave me alone. - Don't be afraid.
I'll carry you into the house.
- Go away. - You can't stay here.
The pain had started
but I wasn't expecting it to come so soon.
It suddenly came over me.
Forgive me.
You'd be better off in a pigsty and out of this cold.
Here.
Go in. You can't help her.
Come now.
Come on.
- What will we do with it now? - What?
We can't keep the child in the house.
Especially a bastard. Do you know whose it is?
No.
Did she not confide in you?
I'm sure she's spoken to you about it.
- She told you, didn't she? - No.
She played the victim and you defended her.
I'm sick of your play-acting. I'm sick of you women.
I want to throw you both out. Both of you.
Oh, Julien.
Do you hear that?
Let's keep it.
- Please, I beg you. - I said no.
I'll talk to Rosalie. She'll tell us.
- Please say yes. - No!
It's a girl.
I'm so pleased. Rosalie will be so happy.
- A baby girl in the house! - Will you shut up?
- Why don't you like children? - Me?
So you won't tell me?
Right.
Did she tell you?
No.
You see? I was right.
- So, are you keeping her? - Of course.
It's up to you. She's your maid, not mine.
The cold spell lasted late into the season.
I often worried about the child sleeping upstairs.
Julien!
You!
- You! But... it can't be! - Oh, no!
Don't touch me.
Thief!
Get lost!
Do you hear me? Get lost! Get lost!
Julien!
What did you just call him? Julien?
- That hurts! - Get lost!
You have no idea how ugly you are.
You disgust me, both of you.
Coward!
You're both cowards.
Madam!
Jeanne?
Jeanne? Answer me.
Madam?
Madam, you must come inside.
It's going to start snowing again. Come inside.
Leave me alone.
I loved you like a sister.
How could you do this to me?
Rosalie.
Why didn't you tell me?
I wanted to tell you,
but I was ashamed.
I tried when the baby was born, but...
- How long? - What?
When did it start?
When he started coming here regularly? Tell me.
- Oh, no, madam. - After our wedding?
Yes.
You must go inside. You're shivering.
- Come on. - No, I don't want to.
Come now, don't be afraid.
Come on.
Without saying anything to alarm them,
I had written to my parents,
asking them to come and spend some time with us.
I was in dire need of affection.
When is this nonsense going to stop?
Stop crying. We had to throw the girl out.
She can hardly complain. We gave her the farm.
What farm?
It's true. I forgot to tell you.
She had been with us so long.
I couldn't send her packing empty-handed.
Father and I decided to give her the farm.
- That's ridiculous. - I'm not asking for your opinion.
It's my farm.
And she's my maid.
You said so yourself.
Please yourself.
Help all the unmarried mothers round here.
Just the one, Julien.
Do you not know why?
I can remind you, in case you've forgotten.
Shall I?
If only Julien had made an effort to get closer to me,
if only he'd expressed a word of regret to me...
Good night, my child.
Don't stay up too late.
I won't.
Madam.
- I wanted to say... - I know.
I brought her down.
I was afraid of leaving her alone upstairs.
So you care about her now?
I hope you will both be very happy.
No.
She left but she had a child.
I was the one who was all alone.
Six years had passed.
My mother had returned.
My father had died.
It was the day for blessing the boats.
I had wanted to take my son Paul.
I finally had the child I had wanted so badly.
I spotted Rosalie.
I quickly distanced myself.
Lamare! Lamare!
Lamare, old chap! Good to see you.
I've had to make a pilgrimage to find you.
I would never have come alone, mind you.
What do you expect? It was my wife's idea.
Yes, old chap. I got married.
I wrote to tell you but you never replied.
We arrived yesterday.
Paris is great when you're young,
but the countryside's best for married couples.
Gilberte? Gilberte!
This is Julien.
Julien de Lamare.
My husband often speaks of you.
I dread to think what he has said.
Only good things, I assure you.
My wife, Madame de Fourcheville.
My humble respects.
- Is this one yours too? - Yes.
That's incredible. Julien, a father!
That's no reason to go into hiding.
The gentleman-farmer style suits you,
but not the beard.
Tell him, madam.
You must come boar hunting one day.
I've hired a wonderful whip.
We don't go out much anymore.
- That's your fault, Julien. - You see? Listen to your wife.
Paul!
The joys of family life!
Look at those brats! They've broken my pots.
Come here!
- Scram! - Little rascals!
Did you hurt yourself? He's bleeding. He's injured.
Him? I doubt it. He's well-bred.
He'll be the one dishing it out. He's a force of nature.
He's the spitting image of his father.
Darling, we have lunch guests. You'd be most welcome to join us.
Well? Will you?
I'd be too afraid of dirtying your cushions.
All right, then. I won't press you.
But you will come one of these days, won't you, madam?
Your friend is right.
We don't go out enough.
Solitude is bad for you.
Deep down I was always relieved to return to my world.
The garden, my house,
my mother whose health I worried about.
Paul, it's teatime.
Are your hands clean? Remember what I said.
I don't want you fighting.
The Fourchevilles invited us to their hunt.
Julien accepted immediately.
I chose not to accompany him.
- Do you need anything, Mother? - No, I'm fine.
- Who was it? - Friends of Julien's.
You should have gone with them.
Don't stay here on my account.
I'm not staying for you.
Go back to bed. You heard what the doctor said.
My God! Mother!
Hurry.
Fetch the doctor.
You come with me.
Can you hear me, Mother?
That way.
There. You can get back in the saddle.
What's the rush?
- So you like hunting? - It depends on the day.
You're flirtatious.
Do you think so?
Why spoil things so soon?
We have so many days ahead of us.
Thousands of days.
And nothing to do but lie,
deceive and hide.
And you say you're not flirtatious?
- It's them. - No, it's not.
You like playing with fire, Julien.
Don't you?
I only like fire.
Where did you get to? I've been searching for an hour.
No, not you, Lamare.
Get Julien to ask his wife to join us for dinner.
She must be bored on her own.
You haven't eaten a thing, or even sat down.
I ate with Paul.
How is she?
A seizure at her age...
What does the doctor say?
He doesn't know either.
They're all fools.
At least go to bed. Ludivine can watch her.
It has to be me.
Do you want me to stay with you?
No, I'd rather be alone.
Well, in that case, you must excuse me.
I'm worn out after six hours on horseback. See you tomorrow.
This is for you from Fourcheville. He guessed you didn't like boar.
Mother!
Oh, Julien!
Julien?
Julien!
Ju... Julien!
Mother died last night.
Why didn't you wake me?
You've been looking so elegant lately.
Do you think so?
Your friend is very kind.
Who, Fourcheville?
He's no bright spark but he does all right for himself.
It's a shame you lost touch for so long.
- You must get on so well. - Yes.
He's married too.
Does he regret it too?
Darling Jeanne.
No, Julien, that would be too easy.
Too easy? That's all you ever say.
- What if I want life to be easy? - Leave me be.
You haven't always said that.
No, never again.
Leave me be. You've hurt me enough as it is.
No!
Stop tormenting me.
Go away.
I'm going to try to live alone now.
Alone?
Don't talk nonsense. Women aren't made to live alone.
Have I married a nun?
What are you waiting for?
You were right all along. Solitude does no one any good.
We could have been happy together, you know.
I gave up on it long ago.
Liar.
Jeanne?
- What's the rush? - I don't feel well.
I want to be alone. I'm going home.
- We must go to the party. - No.
We've been invited. Won't you come with me?
Thank you, but I don't like parties any more.
- And your son is waiting for me? - Is that the real reason?
What other reason would there be?
I didn't know who'd be here. We're neighbours.
I am obliged to stay.
Yes, Julien, I know.
I'll go and I'll come home as soon as possible.
As you wish.
Julien.
Why have you not been in touch?
We're not supposed to meet.
I need you so badly. He won't leave me for a second.
- He behaves like a madman. - I never thought him capable.
I must speak to you.
I'm scared, Julien.
- Don't leave me. - Scared?
Come and join me after lunch.
All right.
You know where.
I've changed my mind, Julien.
I'm staying with you.
Very well.
Here, drink.
Why won't you drink?
Drink.
- I'm scared. - What could possibly happen?
I don't know.
- Everything's so ominous. - Come, now.
Why do you torment yourself like this?
Why do you worry?
Why don't you smile?
- I don't dare any more. - And yet it's so easy.
Look at them all. A party, the sunshine.
The trees and the cool water.
They ask for nothing more.
They're happy.
They might be pretending.
In this moment they're happy.
Julien?
Did you really want me to come with you?
Why are you being so nice today?
Because the sun is shining
and I'm like them.
Don't say anything.
Don't say any more.
I feel so happy.
Mrs de Lamare?
I was alone again.
abandoned to a world of rain.
I ran, as if in a bad dream.
I already feared the worst.
When I saw them,
I wasn't even surprised.
Where are they?
Don't be afraid.
- Julien isn't here, is he? - No.
I don't know anything.
- So they're together? - No.
- Let go of me. - I'll find them.
Do you hear me? I'll find them.
Fourcheville, they must be sheltering from the storm.
Fourcheville!
Julien!
Julien, it's him!
We remember summers more readily than winters.
Time erodes and polishes memories.
Rosalie came back to live with me.
Away from the poplars,
my son's face reminded me of Julien's,
tinged with a new softness.
Life is never as sweet or as bad as we think.
SUBTITLES: RED BEE MEDIA FRANCE